Tierd of this life

(*Where are you, mother? I am so tired that I look in the mirror and I cannot recognize myself). Oh, mother, if I told you about the night I spend not sleeping, not because I like to disobey your orders, but because the brutality of that night, despite its star-filled sky, appeals to me. It gives me room to cry, laugh, and talk to myself, which I lost a long time ago. I loved to hide in order to provide calm. I am very afraid of noise and loud voices, but who runs away from himself? I fear the light, I fear the sun, I fear everything that shines, and I adore every dark corner in this house, and I stay away from the lights. I am sorry for ruining your hope and the hope of everyone. Even my hopes have demolished every wall I worked hard to build before my eyes, and I was unable to do anything. And here I am, a person who died during his life. I am truly tired of This Life! Curse everything, curse me, my luck, and the misfortune that surrounds me. Sadness and weakness have crept into my body and spread poison into it within my blood within my heart