Vulnera

I'm sorry I didn't text you back I was busy lying on the floor I was staring at a crack in the ceiling and wondering what I miss more all of my righteous anger or the naivety before now I'm just feeling numb and going non-verbal you think I'm so dumb because I can't overcome this hurdle it looks so easy for you, because it is I feel the tag of my shirt I can feel my teeth, that hair on my leg is making me lose my shit don't look me in the eyes, I can't handle it I feel so despised, there's no way to fit I'm so tired always playin' devils advocate I just want to be a girl, but I feel inadequate, a little disassociation as a treat I want attention but can't take the heat do I have the jesters privilege when no one listens to me should I burn down this village or have a nice cup of tea (thanks beyond blue) no overhead lights no sudden loud noises only nice textures and hushed voices no overhead lights no sudden loud noises only nice textures and hushed voices now I'm just feeling numb......