Turkey Dog (Extended)

[applause and laughter] Well HEYO. [laughter] That's what my 3 year old says And then he laughs [laughter] He said I should call you all peeps [applause and laughter] Well hey there my peeps [laughter] Hey, what do people eat for breakfast? Turkey. [one person laughs] What do people eat for lunch? Turkey. [small laughs] Where do people go? Turkey [applause and laughter] [laughter] Did you know I named my dog Turkey? [laughter] Do you know what it likes to eat? Dog food. [laughter] And turkey [laughter] But does that mean it's eating itself? [laughter] So I met this dog walker the other day You'd never guess her name [laughter] Laura. [laughter] But she LOVED turkey. The food or the dog, though? [laughter] Don’t you think it’s weird? How we name pets after other animals I once met a cat called Moose And a Moose called Cat [crowd chuckles] It’s confusing, right? Imagine calling a zoo, asking for Cat And they put you through to the big cats' habitat [crowd laughter] But you were just lookin' for your kitten, where's the sense in that? [applause and laughter] Did I mention my turtle named Cheetah? [crowd snickers] Yeah, fastest turtle in the tank [Crowd laughter] Actually, he's so slow, I painted a line and he still hasn't reached it [crowd laughs heartily] But let's not discriminate, my pet fish is named Bird And it's a catfish. [laughter]. Go figure. [laughter] Well you know I'm not really that funny. My 3 year old wrote these jokes, Can you tell? [hearty laughter] He said that I should tell you: "Thank you, you've been great" "Now go get a turkey sandwich" [applause and laughter] I might get me a turkey dog. [laughter] Ok you've been great, thank you! [hearty applause and laughter]