Lyrics
[applause and laughter]
Well HEYO.
[laughter]
That's what my 3 year old says
And then he laughs
[laughter]
He said I should call you all peeps
[applause and laughter]
Well hey there my peeps
[laughter]
Hey, what do people eat for breakfast?
Turkey.
[one person laughs]
What do people eat for lunch?
Turkey.
[small laughs]
Where do people go?
Turkey
[applause and laughter]
[laughter]
Did you know I named my dog Turkey?
[laughter]
Do you know what it likes to eat?
Dog food.
[laughter]
And turkey
[laughter]
But does that mean it's eating itself?
[laughter]
So I met this dog walker the other day
You'd never guess her name
[laughter]
Laura.
[laughter]
But she LOVED turkey.
The food or the dog, though?
[laughter]
Don’t you think it’s weird?
How we name pets after other animals
I once met a cat called Moose
And a Moose called Cat
[crowd chuckles]
It’s confusing, right?
Imagine calling a zoo, asking for Cat
And they put you through to the big cats' habitat
[crowd laughter]
But you were just lookin' for your kitten, where's the sense in that?
[applause and laughter]
Did I mention my turtle named Cheetah?
[crowd snickers]
Yeah, fastest turtle in the tank
[Crowd laughter]
Actually, he's so slow, I painted a line and he still hasn't reached it
[crowd laughs heartily]
But let's not discriminate, my pet fish is named Bird
And it's a catfish.
[laughter].
Go figure.
[laughter]
Well you know I'm not really that funny.
My 3 year old wrote these jokes, Can you tell?
[hearty laughter]
He said that I should tell you:
"Thank you, you've been great"
"Now go get a turkey sandwich"
[applause and laughter]
I might get me a turkey dog.
[laughter]
Ok you've been great, thank you!
[hearty applause and laughter]
