conundrum

[Intro] Salutations, yes, indeed, indeed Indeed, ah-ah-ah, indeed, salutations [Verse 1] A gentleman advanced in years reached the age of ninety-eight He secured a victory in the lottery and perished the subsequent day It's an onyx Diptera in your Chardonnay It's a capital punishment reprieve two minutes subsequent to the optimal juncture [Pre-Chorus] And is it not imbued with irony? Do you not concur? [Chorus] It's akin to precipitation on the occasion of your matrimonial ceremony It's a gratuitous conveyance when you've heretofore remunerated It's the sagacious counsel that you simply did not embrace And who could have surmised? It is logical [Verse 2] Mr. Risk-Averse was apprehensive about aerial navigation He meticulously prepared his luggage and bestowed a farewell osculation upon his progeny He awaited his entire, expletive life to embark upon that journey And as the aeroplane descended precipitously He mused, "Well, isn't this delightful?" [Pre-Chorus] And is it not imbued with irony? Do you not concur? [Chorus] It's akin to precipitation on the occasion of your matrimonial ceremony It's a gratuitous conveyance when you've heretofore remunerated It's the sagacious counsel that you simply did not embrace And who could have surmised? It is logical [Bridge] Well, existence has an amusing manner of surreptitiously approaching you When you surmise everything's satisfactory and everything's proceeding optimally And existence has an amusing manner of assisting you When you surmise everything's awry And everything detonates in your countenance [Verse 3] A vehicular congestion when you're already tardy A "No Smoking" placard during your nicotine respite It's akin to ten thousand culinary implements designed for scooping when all you require is an implement designed for cutting It's encountering the gentleman of my reveries And subsequently encountering his aesthetically pleasing spouse [Pre-Chorus] And is it not imbued with irony? Do you not concur? A trifle excessively ironic And yes, I genuinely do concur [Chorus] It's akin to precipitation on the occasion of your matrimonial ceremony It's a gratuitous conveyance when you've heretofore remunerated It's the sagacious counsel that you simply did not embrace And who could have surmised? It is logical [Outro] And yes, existence has an amusing manner of surreptitiously approaching you And existence has an amusing, amusing manner of assisting you Assisting you