Mean it (part 1)

[Verse 1] I'm sorry, really do mean it, Never meant for this to happen, can't you see it? Your blank stare's tearing me into pieces, You look defeated, and I'm the reason. Wish I could just say "fuck it," Hug you tight, never want to leave it. But something's holding me back, concealing, My true feelings, we're both bleeding. You took me in, gave me a place to grow, Don't know where to begin, you should know. Gave us love, a home, that much is clear, All you wanted was respect, a relationship sincere. But I keep breaking it to pieces, Every chance I get, my soul leases. I don't know why, I'm such a mess, Seeing you hurt, leaves me distressed. [Chorus] Long talks in the living room, we try, You reach out, but I'm left wondering why. Playing scenes in my head, words unsaid, Feeling empty, overwhelmed with dread. I'm such a mess, Seeing you hurt, leaves me distressed. [Chorus] Long talks in the living room, we try, You reach out, but I'm left wondering why. Playing scenes in my head, words unsaid, Feeling empty, overwhelmed with dread. [Verse 2] Feels like giving up, what's the point? Everything I do gets destroyed, joints. Do I even matter, feel like I'm done? My mind's playing games, no longer fun. Crying out my eyes, feeling strifs, Don't want to die, i want to fix my life. Push it down, stare at the ceiling, Push down thoughts, avoid feeling. [Chorus] Sit in my bed, thinking of the day, When I can open up, not be afraid. Want you to know my future wife, But scared of what you'll say, the strife. [Bridge] I stay in my room, inside my cocoon, Sweep problems away, like a monsoon. See sadness in your eyes, hurts me bad, Want to ease your pain, make you glad. [Verse 3] I hate to see you cry, it's tearing me apart, You think I don't care, but I do, from the start. Sorry for everything, I truly mean it, Promise to change, make an effort, don't delete it. [Chorus] But I've said this all before, stuck in a loop, Empty promises, disaster, make me droop. You ask for proof, to earn your trust, Mind draws blank, feels like dust. [Outro] Can you trust a word I say? When I've lied, time and time, to your dismay. I'm a disgrace, can't even trust me, Struggling, fumbling, a sight to see. Sorry for everything, I mean it, truly, Trying to fix, heal, start anew, unruly. Wish I could tell you I love you, without deceit, Mom, I love you, hope you know, complete. [Piano] [End]