Masters of Mess: The Tale of an English Wreck

Young scholars beware of Mr. Masters' class He can't tell a verb from his own derriere He butchers the language with every last pass It's chaos each time we have English, oh dear! Mr. Masters, Mr. Masters His grammar is disaster He speaks such a mess What a linguistic stress! We're studying Shakespeare, a task quite complex But Masters gets lost in a sea of mixed metaphors He'll ramble on Hamlet, then veer off to hex By the end no one knows what the lesson was for! So if you need help with your spelling or prose Avoid old Mr. Masters like academic woes Lest you end up as mixed up as he ever was The grammar goat of Mr. Masters, alas! [20 second instrumental] Oh Mr. Masters "Good morning, good morning" Mr. Masters, Mr, Masters "Good morning good people" he speaks such a mess and its a linguistic stress! So if you need help with your spelling or prose Avoid old Mr. Masters like academic woes Lest you end up as mixed up as he ever was The grammar goat of Mr. Masters, alas! he speaks such a mess and its a linguistic stress! So avoid old Mr. Masters like academic woes The grammar goat of Mr. Masters, alas! Alas, Alas! [Dramatic ending]