A Bard's Gotta Go

(Verse 1) In a tavern dim and smoky, I stand, Tankard in hand, with tales so grand. But alas, my friends, I'm in quite a bind, For my gut's in knots, and I've lost my mind. (Chorus) Oh, I'm a bard so bold and brave, Yet tonight, I'm but a wretched knave. The ale flows freely, but I cannot partake, For constipation's grip, oh, my fate does shake. (Verse 2) Once I danced with kings and queens, In halls adorned with golden sheens. But now I'm stuck in this wretched place, With a rumbling gut and a flushed face. (Chorus) Oh, I'm a bard so bold and brave, Yet tonight, I'm but a wretched knave. The ale flows freely, but I cannot partake, For constipation's grip, oh, my fate does shake. (Bridge) I've faced dragons and demons, oh so fierce, But this battle within, it brings me to tears. So here I stand, with a song to sing, Of adventures past and the pain it brings. (Bridge) I've faced dragons and demons, oh so fierce, But this battle within, it brings me to tears. So here I stand, with a song to sing, Of adventures past and the pain it brings. (Verse 3) To the king's officials, I've oft crossed paths, With jests and jibes, and drunken laughs. But now as I sing, with a trembling voice, I pray to the gods for a merciful choice. (Chorus) Oh, I'm a bard so bold and brave, Yet tonight, I'm but a wretched knave. The ale flows freely, but I cannot partake, For constipation's grip, oh, me fate does shake. (Outro) So here's my tale, of woe and strife, A bard's lament, of a troubled life. But fear not, my friends, for I'll soldier on, Through constipation's grasp, until it's gone.