I scream and yell at them

I am a contradiction; a quiet woman listening to the breathing of her children as they sleep. I scream and yell at them when awake. I’m proud of the knowledge I’ve gained through the years; ashamed of my ignorance, hypocrisies, fears. I seek a god I know little of; denying his presence in moments of need. I cry, “I LOVE YOU!” in raging desire; a love that’s illusion like the god that I seek. I care about friends for the people they are; yet despise the people for the friends they are not. I endure life with laughter and tears believing only in the truth of my smile. I am a contradiction; a quiet woman listening to the breathing of her children as they sleep. I scream and yell at them when awake. I’m proud of the knowledge I’ve gained through the years; ashamed of my ignorance, hypocrisies, fears. I seek a god I know little of; denying his presence in moments of need. I cry, “I LOVE YOU!” in raging desire; a love that’s illusion like the god that I seek. I care about friends for the people they are; yet despise the people for the friends they are not. I endure life with laughter and tears believing only in the truth of my smile.