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Hey, got a sec to chat? Or are you too busy leveling up in your "Ignore My Wife" game?
Haha, what? No, I’m just finishing up a raid. What’s up?
Oh, nothing much, just wondering when I became a single parent to our unborn child... and a grown man.
What? Where’s this coming from?
Well, ever since I got pregnant, you've been acting like a ghost who only appears to complain about work or to hog the controller. I’m starting to feel like I'm married to Casper the Cranky Gamer.
Come on, it's not that bad. Gaming’s just my way to chill, you know that.
Yeah, except now it’s like your new job, and the pay sucks. I’m here eating cereal on my birthday while you’re downstairs trying to set a new high score in "Oblivious Husband 2: The Sequel."
Ouch, harsh. I didn’t know you felt that way... But really, it’s just a game.
Is it? Because when I asked about what happens when the baby comes, you said, “Don’t worry, I’ll just hold the baby while I game.” Like, what are you going to do—strap the baby to your chest and use them as an extra joystick?
Hey, multi-tasking, right?
If by multi-tasking you mean ignoring both your wife and child simultaneously, then yeah, you’re a pro. But seriously, this isn’t funny. I’m feeling neglected, and I’m worried you’re going to be more attached to your console than your own kid.
I didn’t realize it was this serious. I guess I’ve just been stressed and... I don’t know, gaming helps.
Well, here’s a plot twist for you—your wife’s been crying more than your online teammates when they lose. And when you yelled at me the other day? I thought you were about to rage-quit our marriage.
Whoa, I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I was just frustrated, but I’d never hurt you.
I know that... but I need you to hit pause on the games and pay attention to what’s happening IRL. We both wanted this baby so badly, and now I feel like I’ve triggered the “bad ending” of our marriage by getting pregnant.
You haven’t. We’re just in a tough level right now... but I want us to win. Maybe we should get some help—like a strategy guide, but for life?
Now you’re speaking my language. Let’s figure this out together, and maybe, just maybe, we can unlock the “happy family” achievement.
Deal. But first, I’m gonna log off and make you that birthday breakfast. How’s that for a bonus level?
Perfect. And for the record, I’ll take eggs over XP any day.
