The Ordering

Marooned and starving as any man of my august compass might have been rendered by the advent of one more breakfastless Monday, I retreated to the butcher’s in pursuit of "les sausages moderne." My Roman ancestry (alleged obliged me to stand even more than upright before Mr. Collop and his bloody apron to pronounce my earnest desire for ten to twenty (dependent upon the cost six-inch adipose tubes, brown but not dark brown but brown more or less like the schoolboy’s erasing rubber that is pink but not as cheery and even (I am informed in certain exquisite brands quite cordially flattened upon several sides so as to prevent their rolling just as Venus pencils equipped in a grotesquely similar fashion do not roll. And how thoughtful when you think about it since apples do so often roll and let us not even speak of peas which I haven’t for several contented years now. No – no - not yellow, Mr. Collop, though not un-yellow either, but brown more as the pink schoolboy’s erasing rubber but not as cheery. What contains more unselfconscious goodwill than a new erasing rubber. But I am not here for mere goodwill, and they are neither brown nor exactly pink. Beige? I suppose Yes a machine-polished beige tube for my late lunch today and for several spookily similar late lunches hereafter. O! Their refined and consistent tastelessness is one of their most pure qualities and I fear, Mr. Collop, that you are enviously and typically struggling to position yourself halfway between myself and my lunch. But yes again light brown hoses of an aerodynamic make and make no mistake all securely alike in their democratic display, and so I desire ten to twenty (dependent upon the cost) wrapped in brown paper; no not at all like your fine brown paper which I have always seen as a magnificent, yellowed tan, but brown, brown Like a pink schoolboy’s proud new erasing rubber only not as cheery, Mr. Collop and yes I have decided flattened on several sides so as to prevent rolling. [End]] [end]