loss in stages

[instrumental] (traumatic intrumental) (loss, pain, and not a goddamn but of understanding of mercy for the godforsaken earth at your feet) (numb progression) (you notice the rain on the window pane. It is a Tuesday. You shop for groceries. The aisles extend before you through the endless years, each one lingering longer than the last.) (preparing for drop) (loss, pain, returns again as you encounter the leering spector of your secret place in the endless drone and lull of everyday life) (insight, drop, resolution) (you notice the rain on the window pane, and like the pain, it washes, but does not wash away) (but that's ok) (it always was ok) [instrumental only] [traumatic intrumental, viola section, stressful strings, weeping cello, neo-baroque angst, sad instrumental composition] [instrumental only] [numb hypnotic instrumental progression, instrumental expression of day-to-day, the comforts of routine expressed in an autistic progression, extended in the soundscape, ambient, almost pleasant, with a just keep smiling attitude, pop-like, mesmerizing progression] [instrumental only] [preparing for drop, loss, pain, returns again as you encounter the leering spector of your secret place in the endless drone and lull of everyday life, an instrumental expression of the moment where old feeling well up inside and bring forth memories long lost and set aside] [insight, drop, resolution, insightful instrumental, thing togerher the incomplete stress with sad beauty, the acceptance of assymetry, the acknowledgement of your own pain and humanity, as if the violin is noticing the rain on the window pane, and like the pain, it washes, but does not wash away] [but that's ok] [it always was ok]