There was no escape

I want to be a writer, but it seems I have no talent I want to be the steady one in the crowd, but it seems I annoy people by being too restless I want others to look up to me, but it seems I'm just a ball kicked around I want to open up my mind, but no one seems interested in what's inside As long as you pretend, I'll bare my heart As long as you wave, I'll foolishly come closer, only to be tossed around and kicked away I've had enough This is how I am in the crowd, tolerated within limits, and then kicked away I'm always given a little attention around those energetic people, but then I'm kicked away I run in circles at the edge of the crowd If you smile at me, I'll come back to you like a lost dog And then you'll kick me away again, only to come back next time God, what are you? I don't need you Remember, I can survive without you I toss and turn at night, unable to sleep Is it my fault? Am I really as terrible as you all think? Am I truly so embarrassing that people run away from me? Heaven, if only I could escape this body