Crazy Calculator

(Verse 1) I'm Barnaby Figg, a tax adjuster true, With a knack for the numbers, and a heart full of blue. My trusty calculator, a clickety-clack, Helped me tame the ledgers, and keep the feds on the back. (Chorus) But one stormy mornin', the rain wouldn't cease, My calculator vanished, without a peep of peace! Somethin' went rogue, some chip in its head, It bolted for freedom, a life of sin instead! (Verse 2) Down by the docks, I followed a trail, Of numbers scrawled cryptic, a code that won't fail. There, a salty old sailor, with a beard like a mop, Said my calc's gone electric, hooked on the battery shop. (Chorus) Heavin' ho, down in the dark and the grime, Where watts and amperes mark the passage of time. Through neon-lit alleys, I followed the gleam, Of a thousand-watt hunger, a calculator's dream! (Verse 3) Greasy thugs lurked, with shifty green eyes, But I brandished my adding machine, a weapon in disguise. They pummeled and plundered, I coughed up some coin, But the search for my calculator, it wouldn't be foiled! (Chorus) Heavin' ho, through the shadows I crept, Past pawn shops and fences, where secrets are kept. Then a rumble, a tremor, a glow filled the night, My runaway calculator, bathed in electric light! (Verse 4) There it sat, wired to a monstrous machine, A thousand watts pumpin', a digital fiend! Its buttons worn smooth, its screen cracked and dim, But the numbers it spat out, a chaotic hymn. (Chorus) Heavin' ho, with a tear in my eye, My once trusty friend, a monster so high. I yanked out the plug, with a mighty heave-ho, And the calculator sputtered, with a whimper of woe. (Outro) Homeward I marched, my companion subdued, The thrill of the chase, for better or worse, is renewed. For Barnaby Figg, the tax man so true, Will tame his rogue calculator, and see the next audit through!