Bone Dry or Die Tryin'

[Verse 1] Wake up, check the gauge, moisture too high? (Uh oh) Fire up the dehumidifier, forty-five, that's my guy (That's right) Camera lenses crystal, can't let mold infect (No way) Floors and furnishings, I gotta protect (Protect) Yeah, I'm crazy 'bout dryness, you know I can't joke (No jokes) Too much dampness, my home is a sogfest (Sogfest) [Hook] I need that dry air (Oh yeah) No fungus, no spores, no way, not in my lair (No way) I'm the controller (Controller) Of the hostile moisture (Say what?) Gotta maintain, that's my culture (Maintain) [Verse 2] Books staying crispy, bunker's complete (Complete) Walls and ceilings, no stains, I rearrange (Rearrange) Dehumidifiers pumping, removing the vapor (Vapor) Hygrometers jumping, reading vapor vapor (Vapor vapor) More than a hobby, it's my OCD (OCD) Rather be excessive than have fungi with me (No fungi) [Bridge] Humidity-phobia, that's my syndrome (Syndrome) Better be wary, don't let spores climb in (Don't climb) Whole house fortified like a lair (My lair) No damp allowed, only dry air (Dry air) [Chorus] Books staying crispy, bunker's complete (Complete) Walls and ceilings, no stains, I rearrange (Rearrange) Dehumidifiers pumping, removing the vapor (Vapor) Hygrometers jumping, reading vapor vapor (Vapor vapor) More than a hobby, it's my OCD (OCD) Rather be excessive than have fungi with me (No fungi) [Outro] You know the drill, I keep it precise (So precise) Perfectly controlled, that's my paradise (Paradise) Just me and my dehumidified life. [End]