The Girth of Legend

In the dive bar, the stories were spinning A man's legend, attention it vied Some tales were stretched, his pride was unpeeled And the laughs, they just echoed inside Oh, the chuckles bounced high as he sighed And it's plink, plunk, play, what a curious case He was the Chode of Chodes (oh yes he was) Hung like a tuna can (a man of span!) All girth and cap, A wee wee mudflap, He was the Chode of Chodes He was the Chode of Chodes My girl, she was sayin', And I quote her verbatim: I got curtains of meat Oh I'm sure they are sweet Stick your face down there You'll love it, I swear Oh honey, you're funny I'm squishy and I'm fishy So give me a finger And lend me your tongue Just stick me right up You son of a gun In my sweet meat curtains You'll love 'em, I'm certain She was full of affection But also infection My Lydia My Lydia Chlamydia Now let me tell all of ya She was gabby and fair And crabby down there She was glowing while blowing And rabidly foaming But despite all her flaws, I gave her applause And to thank me right back She gave me the CLAP Please clap! Now what the hell was that, gentlemen? [Nervous sounds] He was the Chode of Chodes (oh yes he was) Hung like a tuna can (a man of span!) All girth and cap, A wee wee mudflap, He was the Chode of Chodes He was the Chode of Chodes