I am not ok

What am I doing here in the middle of the night? Why am I not in bed, holding loved ones tight? Am I afraid of missing out? Or are my thoughts up and about? Loving my work, questioning my job Raking in cash with a tired sob What am I doing alone out here Want to be loved, held close and dear **Go to bed! **Get some sleep! **Think ahead **Not too deep Leaving the house, dark outside Scared of myself, shadow fright Waiting for love, help and more Want to be seen, evermore But then there is something in the way Don't know what it is, but it's not okay Need to figure it out rather quick Or the head will hit a wall out of brick What am I doing here, from what do I hide? Why am I questioning if everything is right? Am I afraid of disappointing everyone? Are chances to heal long gone? Not seeing clear, I finally know I need to find help, don't say no What am I doing alone out here want to be loved, held close and dear **Come to bed! **Get some sleep! **I'll hold your head **My love is deep Leaving the house, dark outside Scared of myself, shadow fright Waiting for love, help and more Want to be seen, evermore But then there is something in the way Don't know what it is, but it's not okay Need to figure it out rather quick Or the head will hit a wall out of brick