Bernie's Granny Pants

[Verse] In a small town, down a gravel road, Lived a fella name of Bernie, story must be told. He wore a Stetson hat, and boots scuffed with pride, But ol' Bernie had a secret he was trying to hide. [Verse 2] One Sunday at the church, folks gathered 'round, Bernie felt a rumble, deep and profound. He dashed out the back, 'cross the church-owned land, But he couldn't outrun his own body's demands. [Chorus] Oh, Bernie, Bernie, in your granny pants, You danced the dance, a desperate circumstance. Granny’s lacy bloomers, an unlikely romance, A tale of man's misfortune, in them granny pants. [Verse 3] He found those bloomers hanging, on a clothesline sway, Hoped to make it home, but he had to obey. He stepped into the cotton, so fluffy and blue, Prayed to heavens above, "Don't let this be true." [Verse 4] But fate wasn't kind, he stumbled and fell, Right in the dirt, with a resounding yell. Granny’s undergarments wrapped 'round him tight, And Bernie knew he'd be the joke of the night. [Chorus] Oh, Bernie, Bernie, in your granny pants, You danced the dance, a desperate circumstance. Granny’s lacy bloomers, an unlikely romance, A tale of man's misfortune, in them granny pants.