The hidden excuse

I linger in the shadows, a phantom unseen, Not shunning your light, but fearing the gleam. An excuse takes form, strange and absurd, A shield I wield against the unspoken word. Invisible chains bind me, unseen by all eyes, It’s not reluctance, but a disguise. The bustling crowd, a tempest unkind, Each step a battle within my mind. A flickering dance of nerves untamed, Behind closed doors, my fears unnamed. It’s not that I don’t care, or lack the will, But a hidden force that paralyzes still. The simplest tasks become mountains to climb, A solitary climb through the passage of time. Words left unspoken, gestures deferred, In the silent sanctuary where fear is stirred. So I craft strange alibis, whimsical and vague, To cloak the fear that keeps me caged. A puppeteer to whims of doubt, In the labyrinth where whispers shout. I yearn to join your world, to embrace the day, Yet fear’s embrace holds sway. In this theater of shadows, where I often reside, A masked excuse becomes my guide. But behind this facade, beneath this charade, A heart beats true, longing to evade The grip of fear, the chains that bind, To break free from excuses, and peace to find. For it’s not laziness nor lack of heart, But a battle fought in the silent part Of a soul that yearns to break free, From the masked excuse, from fear’s decree