The Ballad of Jim Killgore

"The Ballad of Jim Killgore" (Verse 1) Living and loving with his dear wife Grace, Preaching ‘bout Jesus all over the place. From Pakistan to Atlanta’s a mighty long route, Jim knows the Bible inside and out. (Chorus) Oh, Jim Killgore, leading us with his big chin, Always teaching us never to sin. Telling us Patrick jokes that aren’t really funny, Maybe he’ll stop if we pay him some money! (Verse 2) Became a doctor of Bible content, Saving souls with holy intent. Teaching us to pray, every single day, Making sure we do it only the right way. (Chorus) Oh, Jim Killgore, leading us with his big chin, Always teaching us never to sin. Telling us Patrick jokes that aren’t really funny, Maybe he’ll stop if we pay him some money! (Bridge) Works the funeral circuit, his customers dying to be served, Mingling with corpses without coming unnerved. Helping people prepare for their final day, Telling their families just what to say. (Verse 3) Broke his back on a jet ski, Daughter saved him, but now he can’t pee. His favorite people: Carlton and Ken, Along with the Davids, Michael, and Slim. (Chorus) Oh, Jim Killgore, leading us with his big chin, Always teaching us never to sin. Telling us Patrick jokes that aren’t really funny, Maybe he’ll stop if we pay him some money! (Verse 4) Awesome Group Leader, his knowledge is great, Always consistent, and he’s never too late. Has such great stories, he’s eager to tell, Repeats them quite often—whoops, I’m going to hell! (Chorus) Oh, Jim Killgore, leading us with his big chin, Always teaching us never to sin. Telling us Patrick jokes that aren’t really funny, Maybe he’ll stop if we pay him some money! (Outro) Goes to the Masters to watch golfers play, He’ll get his pro card maybe someday. With Jim Killgore, life’s never a bore, Inspiration and humor, couldn’t ask for more.