Battle Beneath My Skin

[Verse] Lately, I've been feeling so depressed I can barely get any deep rest A couple of hours at best Waking up in cold sweats [Verse 2] To dreams that are hard to digest And it feels like there's been a theft in my chest As it's getting harder to catch my breath And I've been feeling possessed by feelings of loneliness [Chorus] As I try to find my way out of this abyss And I know what we resist persists I trust that in time this heaviness will lift It's just that time can be a curse or a gift [Verse 3] It's useless to fight this You're guaranteed to miss It's like trying to use your fist to hit a cloud of mist In the midst of thinking about all that I've missed [Verse 4] I made a checklist And despite it feeling hopeless, I even made a wish But I still haven't checked every box off the list Like a reason why I even exist [Verse 5] And I'm doing my best to find my way out of this mess But you don't wanna know where I placed most of my bets 'Cause all this hurting is such a burden And it's hard to find the wording For feeling all on my own Even when I'm not alone And I have all these numbers in my phone [Verse 6] So please tell me why am I so prone to this feeling of isolation And it's creation of thoughts that manipulate my imagination Causing hesitation from thoughts of catastrophization Skewing my interpretation of my current situation Still knowing this doesn't always fully alleviate them [Verse 7] As my heart is aching Leaving me thinking... [Verse 8] If I didn't exist would I really be missed? Is there something more than this? Is there an Other side? A place where time and eternity collide But as long as I'm on this ride I can't seem to escape times of loneliness And in moments when it hits heavy like this I just want to call it quits [Chorus] As I try to find my way out of this abyss And I know what we resist persists I trust that in time this heaviness will lift It's just that time can be a curse or a gift [Verse 9] I feel like I'm gonna break under this weight I can't contemplate my way out of this fate As I awake to a new daybreak With the same old heartache But I know it would be a mistake To make a decision in this mind state [Verse 10] So when my hearts in vacancy I wait patiently And thanks to the grace in me My mind contains some sanctity At times when it's so hard to see [Bridge] As this road I've walked has taken its toll I'm whole but feeling empty As dark thoughts tempt me Believe me, I've got plenty But I'm not giving in This battle beneath my skin Is a battle I'm determined to win [instrumental] [fade out] [end]